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    Night Teeth movie review: Netflix film a slick but unimaginative vampire thriller

    Night Teeth poster, image from Netflix.

    Night Teeth poster, image from Netflix.

    night teeth | Director:Adam Randall

    Mold:George Lendeborg Jr., Debbie Ryan, Megan Fox, Sydney Sweeney

    Runtime: 1 hour 47 minutes| Language: english | Rating: 2

    I have a soft spot for vampire movies. I’d say “I have a soft spot for vampires,” but then you might judge me for believing they exist. I’m also worried that if I make them out in public they might come for me – and bite me just like they did when I was a kid with rosy cheeks. I don’t think they have completely converted me. A dog caught the attention of a novice who had put a tooth in my neck. The Parsi dentist had other ideas about my fangs. He refused to believe me. Anyway, I regret. Knight Teeth is the kind of clever and silly lore that’s too busy in the mood to cross out the Vampire 101 template. (I want to make a twi-light sentence but I will resist).

    Directed by Adam Randall, Night Teeth is set in the night Los Angeles of urban noir classics like Nightcrawler and Drive: sensual, lonely, dazzling, shadowy and utterly wild. That familiar electro-synth score and neon-lit nightclub circuit become the main character of a story about a modern man-vampire war. It’s fun to watch. It reminded me of the early days of my identity crisis and… no problem.

    Night Teeth is not the most fundamental or purist premise; Most of the characters are made to look like they’ve stepped out of a hazy role-playing fantasy. But I think that’s what Netflix’s semi-adult entertainment segment is aiming for. The story itself is accidental. One side breaks out the sacred “conflict” and tries to stage an overnight coup, and our innocent human protagonist Benny (George Lendeborg Jr.) – a makeshift driver for two mysterious party girls – is caught in the middle of a campy crossfire. (If Keanu Reeves’ soft-porn extravaganza Knock Knock comes to mind, put those thoughts away for now). Benny is a child-faced hustler who lives with his grandmother. So it’s only natural that one of the two attractive women, Blair (Taylor Swift doppelganger Debbie Ryan), develops feelings for her. She even likes him so that she can tell him – and us – the reality of their club-hopping mission down to the last detail. “Your guys and my guys don’t get along,” she says, inspired by nothing like romantic and sexual chemistry. The attraction is physical, but I don’t understand why such movies pretend to be platonic and intellectual – the stilted flirting and dialogue expose male writers who subscribe to the mythical social-weird-hero-attraction-goddess trope. Huh.

    The other girl, Zoe (Lucy Fry), is undeterred: the accomplice of a ruthless vampire who wants to rule the world. The man is also a Beverly Hills millionaire, runs a Maserati and harvests humans in his secret blood-bank basement. How many times have we seen this before? He is sick of following the rules and staying away from “human” areas like second-class citizens; Cultural metaphors are clunky and predictable. If we need more reasons to dislike him, he reduces to Megan Fox and Sidney Sweeney cameos. Game of Thrones fans will recognize actor Alfie Allen immediately, but Night Teeth makes him a pale-faced villain with a British accent. Given that he wants to colonize the planet, perhaps the pronunciation isn’t entirely wrong. Like them – says Blair – have been living for centuries; The film is too precious to prove that this overnight heist is anything but a symptom of terminal boredom. I have to pick another bone with such movies: These vampires are ultra-old souls in young and everlasting bodies, yet they keep falling in love and lust with young humans for the sake of star-crossed movies. Some relationships will be good according to age. Or at least some recognition of the fact that their body language and mannerisms evolve over time. The Swedish horror film, Let the Right One In, is a worthy handbook.

    Some of the action sequences are smart, the high-school tropes (Blair kisses Benny in front of his cocky classmates to make him look cool) are harmless, but the world-building lacks the density and timing accumulation that is typical of most vampire fables. is constructed. Feather. I don’t mean sepia-tinted flesh-and-stakes flashbacks, but maybe Night Teeth would have done well to supply its pulp with textured self-awareness and humor. Words like “suck” and “drink” and “night legion” are said in a totally serious tone. Even the performances feel monotonous, as if the cast were unsure whether the film was a parody on the Vampire movies or an actual Vampire movie. What’s the difference these days?

    The design of the climax is quite disturbing for a perfectly styled film. Without giving too much away, sunlight plays a role here. I’m not sure manufacturers understand how light particles work – apparently morning shade is safe but being in direct sunlight is deadly. It’s even more fascinating than the physics of Twilight, where a cloudy and cloudy city serves as a haven for Edward’s vampire family. I think it’s visually exciting to see the Sun as a giant spotlight. But come on, there has to be more to the vampire mansion than thick curtains. It is 2021, they are going extinct because of such films, and now they are coming for me as I have blown their cover again. Night Teeth, it’s on you.

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